As polyamory picks up around us expectations and definitions are created. I struggle with these and feel telling someone "I'm polyamorous" is no longer opening a conversation, but a series of expectations and assumptions.
Through this struggle I found Relationship Anarchy. It is something I am still learning about. But I feel as if I connect with it. It speaks to me and how I connect with people and relationships more than monogamy or polyamory.
So what is it?
Relationship anarchy (abbreviated RA) is the practice of forming relationships that are not bound by rules aside from what the people involved mutually agree on. ... The term relationship anarchy was coined by Andie Nordgren, and is the topic of Swedish bachelor theses by Jacob Strandell and Ida Midnattssol.
I feel that has some elements of non-hierarchical polyamory, but it still in its essence is something different. I feel that those I find as friends hold a special place to me. People that I support, love, and appreciate. I find difficulty in setting a status or a ranking for anyone. I have some friends which I share more experiences with which in turn makes me feel more connected. But I struggle with titles. I don't feel that girlfriend, best friend, lover, partner, companion, or any title that I know can express the importance of each person. So for now, I settle with friend. Unable to clearly explain.
I do my best to approach each connection as something to grow without a set path or expectation. I want to give and be given the freedom to explore and nurture whatever comes. There feels like such a strong pull towards a "relationship escalator" that it is easy to lose focus or lose a friend during the ride.
I'm still struggling to understand and to learn. I want to be able to know and to share my views and feelings clearly, but that is still a work in progress.
